I am guilty of being in a couple of relationships in my life so far and despite all its heartaches, all my past relationships has grown me a lot wiser so that next time round I can avoid all the mistakes and succeed in maintaining a success relationship, so I keep telling myself.
Every situation has its silver lining and my past experiences have also taught me a few things. For all those people out there in a relationship I have put together a few areas for you to consider inorder for you to have a perfectly successful relationship (not sure if this is at all possible for a sustainable period of time as 2 people can never be 100% alike, but I’ll get into all that philosophical talk some other day).
So that there are no next times for you, I would like to wish you all the success in your endeavors of maintaining a happy relationship in 2008.
Here they are:
Have a solid friendship.
Ask yourself what kind of friend you are being to your mate, what ever it is that you enjoy doing with their friends, whether it be talking about silly things or sharing a good joke together apply that same openness to their own relationship. Your partner should be your best friend.
Meet each others' needs.
The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of two people. Maybe your partner needs a soft place to fall that day or she needs a shoulder to cry on. You don't always need to agree with your partner, but you should figure out their needs, whether it's saying that you are proud of him, or that he looks nice that day.
Set specific goals.
Wake up each morning and say, 'What can I do today to advance the ball? Even small things will accumulate over time and make a difference. Find a quiet moment each day and come up with a specific goal to improve your relationship, whether it's calling your spouse during the day just to say hi, or telling your mate that you love him or her more often. Make a conscious effort.
Get back to basics.
The idea is to have some concept of what a marriage and a partnership is supposed to be and start doing those things. Write down your definitions of a successful relationship and live up to those definitions. Focus on the fundamental things that are going to make a difference in the long run.
Take responsibility.
You can't control the way your spouse acts in your relationship, but you can control how you react in negative situations. You have to take 100 percent responsibility for what you're doing in a relationship. Decide what you believe and hold to be true, and conduct yourself 100 percent consistent with that.
Turn the negatives into a to-do list.
If you don't have fun with your partner, you need to make a list of enjoyable activities you can do together. Ask yourself, what would make your answer on the quiz change?
I hope you will apply the advice above to your relationships and I too plan to in my future relationship.
I look forward to providing you with many such articles and advice in the future, until then wish me luck with my search for my last first kiss.
Signing out…
John Singh
